Q & A: Honor your Father & Mother

1.  Are there ways parents can love each other that encourages their kids to honor them?

If a father and mother love and serve each other, I think it will make it much easier for the children to honor them.  Specifically if the parents learn to practice repentance and forgiveness towards each other and their children, I believe that will demonstrate the power of the gospel in the family’s relationships.  A child raised in a home where repentance and forgiveness are practiced intentionally and regularly,  will have a much greater chance of understanding the gospel and will in turn grow in his/her desire to honor God by honoring his/her parents.  

2.  How can the kid who was his father’s servant honor someone who abuses their authority?

First you must remember that the reason you are called to honor your father is not based upon how good of a father he was, but instead it is based upon his God-given role as father.  This is where the “salute the rank, not the man” example comes into play.  

With this understanding, I would encourage you to forgive your father if he has indeed abused his role.  This doesn’t mean you sweep any of the ways you were mistreated as a child under a rug, but instead that you no longer hold your father’s trespasses against him.  You willingly let go of the bitterness, the anger and the resentment in light of the forgiveness you have been shown through the death of Christ on the cross.  From there I would attempt to take some small steps in working towards reconciling with your father.  Take him out to dinner.  Ask for his help in a project you are working on, etc…